journaling Archives - Page 2 of 2

July 31, 2018

Finding Your North Star

Have you ever felt stuck? At a stalemate? Not sure where to go next or what to do?

Trauma, illness, unexpected life transitions of all types can leave us at loose ends, not sure how to pick up the pieces. Maybe even wondering if we want to. Transition, especially the involuntary type, calls into question who we are, how we relate, what roles we want to resume or release.

After life changing events, we often need to change priorities, evaluate time and resources, develop or re-gain the crucial balance that promotes clear thinking and productive effort. On some level, we know that. The problem is, how to do it?

The uncomfortable emotional states of transition don’t help. Some people get depressed. Others feel anxiety about the future. Old habits thought long conquered may re-assert themselves. Unfinished creative work may look stale and not worth completing. New ideas fail to materialize.

Sometimes what is nearest our hearts is the most difficult to acknowledge. After all, what if it isn’t possible? What if we can’t find meaningful work, a loving relationship? What if we try and fail to write the novel or poem or song?

As a transition coach, I’ve met people who spent years denying what they most wanted to do, be, or have in the interest of security, loyalty, or the need to stay compliant with family or community values. Without exception, when they made the leap of faith and started singing their own song, miracles happened. Not everyone was “successful” in the financial sense, but all experienced an upsurge in energy, in personal well-being, and self-confidence. Taking the leap is hard, but so worthwhile.

I’m no exception, and am quite capable of staying stuck while terribly busy doing things that are not quite right. I rationalize, explain how I need income, security, something to do that’s not too hard because I’m sick, upset, or lacking in confidence. All the while, the voice in my heart reminds me to look inward, to walk the inner path where wisdom lies, often buried beneath heaps of excuses.

When I’m stuck on a project or need to get myself out of a difficult place, I remember the North Star, the brightest star in the sky that always points to the same place. The Center. The place within us that is most authentic.

The North Star is the meaning and direction of my life. Although I’ve always known I’m a writer, how to express it has evolved. No matter if I worked in corporate communications, free-lance editing, fiction or nonfiction, the needle always pointed true. The North Star gives life a focus.

When I’m stuck for an answer, I pick up my pen and start writing. Write long enough, regularly enough, and you’ll find what everyone who uses this practice discovers. The creative self within. The Muse waiting patiently to offer her gentle guidance. The wisdom of the heart. The well, the watcher, spirit, the inner guide.

Journaling for insight and self-discovery is a tool for everyone, not just writers. It stops the mental circling that is never productive. Putting thoughts into words helps us understand them and come up with new solutions. It helps us work out how we feel about things. Pursued regularly, it leads us unerringly toward our own center, whatever form that takes.

Try journaling for a week or two, at the same time every day, for about twenty minutes, and you’ll begin to see the benefits. Keep going and you won’t be able to shut out the light of your personal North Star.

July 16, 2018

What’s In Your Closet?

An irresistible urge to clean out a closet came up the other day. I attacked it with gusto and deposited in a cardboard box shoes I’ll never wear again, clothes that don’t fit, worn out bags, random books, and a lamp I hate.

After finishing, I realized I had been looking for something. Not that elusive black shoe to match the one in the box. Something more important. I was looking for my point of power. The place of stillness. The present moment.

I’ve often been stymied by resistance, which is a great catch-all for negative ideas and beliefs—the programming that lives in what some call the subconscious mind. It’s taken years to understand that what stops me from 1) starting and 2) finishing projects is hiding inside me.

Every spiritual teacher I’ve encountered, in person or books, emphasized the importance of the Now. In the sixties and seventies, as meditation and eastern philosophies integrated into western culture, it became an often-spoofed catch word. Be Here Now! Allen Watts exhorted us.

The truth is, he was right.

The only way to create anything new is from the present. If we try to create from old patterns and memories, we end up re-creating old situations, even if dressed up in new clothes.

If you prefer dwelling on the past, you may identify yourself with childhood experiences, past wounds, slights, or resentments. Hold beliefs about how limited you are, how it’s too late (or too early) for what you want. Think you need more security, money, or free time before you create. You tell stories of what happened.

If you’re oriented to the future, you’re always planning. You have goals, vision, motivational tools, a to-do list. You’re so focused on what you will do that you don’t notice what is happening now. You tell stories of how great things will be.

If we don’t question where our ideas come from and if they are still true, we risk repeating patterns we don’t understand. A stuck pattern is a lens of perception.

If you feel at the mercy of time, other people, or your responsibilities, and can’t seem to start that novel, exercise program, or job hunt, maybe it’s time to look inside. The inner way is not often valued by the outer world, but it’s essential if you want to know yourself.

Here are some simple ways to start:

State a clear intention.

Decide what you want.
Write it down.
Don’t share what you’re doing with anyone. Make this a private space, just you and the contents of your mind.

Spend fifteen minutes a day alone.

Sit quietly with yourself. In nature. In your favorite chair.
Close your eyes.
Breathe, and notice what thoughts come up.
Listen to the voice within, even if it sounds like your dad.

Get a notebook

Commit to three sessions a week, twenty minutes each.
Write what’s going on in your life and how you feel about it.

A practical way of clearing the mental residue is to look around at your living space to decide what you don’t need. Cleaning out closets, bookcases, attics, and garages is a physical correlate to cleaning out old ideas. It’s satisfying to cart away physical objects. Plus, it gives your resistance a heads-up that you mean business!

And who knows, you may find your point of power hiding behind that old tennis racket!

June 14, 2018

The Power of Words

Language shapes our concepts about who we are and what we can do. Even idle words tossed off without thinking can be taken to heart and turned into beliefs. Hiding beneath the notice of the analytical mind,these beliefs govern behavior even when the person has opposing conscious beliefs.

I was once told by a healer that I was acting on ideas about having the “right job”, the “right clothes”, and the “right car.” Indignantly, I protested. Not true, I said. More interested in leading an authentic life, material possessions approved by the common culture had seldom interested me.

“Yes,” the healer said with a smile. “But your mother held those beliefs, and she gave them to you.”

My mother had passed on several years before, so I could not question her about it, but lo and behold, when I examined my own beliefs, using a simple muscle testing system, sure enough, I was holding onto unconscious ideas that conflicted with my value system.

Beliefs can be tricky, since those that most affect us most are often buried under layers of experience. They must be coaxed out, with meditation, journaling, or whatever healing method works for you.

A simple way to start examining our beliefs is to notice how we talk to ourselves and others. Do we use a lot of judgmental words? You should. I ought. That’s hopeless.

If you use judging words every time you make a minor mistake, is there a way you can substitute kinder words?

I forgot again! Could be changed to I am working on remembering
I’m so stupid! Could become I made a mistake, but that’s okay because I’m human.
How could I have done that! Could transform to I am learning from my experiences

If you try this exercise, it may feel awkward at first, but with some practice, you’ll soon learn to catch those automatic judgments and start speaking to yourself like a friend.

James W. Pennebaker, the pioneer in research on expressive writing for healing, discovered patterns of language typical of those who get the most benefit from expressive writing. He used a software program to analyze both written and spoken communication and found that pronouns (I, he, she, we, it) are a key to change.

When people who have experienced trauma write about the event, they can create a more coherent story which leads them to new understandings of what happened to them. The use of causal (because, why) and insight (realize, understand) words predicted how well the writers recovered from the trauma.

The most interesting and unexpected result came when he found that people who changed the pronouns they used (from first person to third person, for example) improved most in mood, health, and sociability.

By counting pronouns, Dr. Pennebaker found that people whose health was improving tended to decrease the use of first person pronouns. They gained perspective and the ability to see the situation from more than one point of view.

If you’d like to learn more about his research, he has written a popular book on the subject.

His original research, which inspired my own investigations into the benefits of writing for healing, is discusssed in his first book.

Wbat about you? Have you noticed how you talk to yourself? Have you tried journaling to uncover beliefs and stuck patterns you want to change?

June 1, 2018

Writing for My Life

The Book of the Center

While I was working on my novel a few years ago, a thought dropped in. It had nothing to do with the book and came with the little jolt I associate with the part of me that is NOT my ego-mind. The thought was, “The Book of the Center.” I heard the words as if a voice had spoken aloud.

The first time this happened I was 28 and it scared the heck out of me. I thought either God was speaking, or I was losing my mind. Maybe both. A self-professed humanist, I had no religious convictions or grounding in metaphysics. I sought help. To no avail. Finally, I realized the voice was a part of myself I didn’t know. It seemed prudent to record what it said. That was the beginning of my awakening to spirit.

I’ve learned (the hard way) to listen. When I heard about this mysterious book, I pulled out a fresh file folder, labeled it The Book of the Center and stuck in a file with other writing projects. Going to write that someday, I thought. Wonder what it means. Sometimes I pondered if Center meant my own center or Self, my heart, a place of neutrality, or something different.

Reading The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself recently, I remembered how my Book of the Center appeared. Finally, I’ve started it.

Journaling for Healing

Between the first intrusion of the voice of my Self and the title of a book I didn’t understand came a lot of years of journaling. In the beginning I journaled to deal with the drama of my life.

In midlife, I was embroiled in a difficult relationship that made no sense. By then, I had learned to meditate, work with my own energy, and use healing methods to address my issues. With this situation, nothing worked.

One day I sat at my computer, opened a new file, and wrote my latest take on The Situation. Although I judged my relationship problems as too petty to bring to the attention of my deeper parts, I decided to try anyway. I typed a single question: “What is going on with me and this person?” Then I sat with my keys on the keyboard and waited.

After a few minutes I wrote whatever came up, without thinking or judging. No voices spoke, no visions came, I just wrote.

What I wrote was not profound or particularly clear, but it made enough sense that I asked another question, waited again, and wrote again.

That was the beginning of me using writing to connect with Self.

The more I dialogued with my Self, the more useful the exercise became. It took several years to convince me I was talking to more than my ego-mind (one of my issues is self-doubt), but I kept going. No one read my journal. I didn’t talk about it. I just kept writing because it seemed like the right thing to do. Also, I’m a fast typist and the faster I write, the easier it is to bypass the mental critic in my head.

Many others have discovered this method. It’s even mentioned in books on journaling. I teach my journaling students how to do it. The great thing is you don’t have to learn to meditate, take a class, or learn special techniques. All you need is a notebook and pen or a computer, and a mind willing to open.

An Easy Exercise for You

Have you tried it? If not, this could be the time. This is how it works.

Assume you have an aspect of your identity that knows more than you do, that loves you, and is willing to communicate.
Settle yourself and clear your mind.
Ask your Self a question in writing. About a crisis, a choice, a pattern you don’t understand. Anything you want to know about yourself.
Wait.
Listen.
Write what comes.
Refrain from judgment.
Repeat.

This works. I swear. You may have to be patient, but persistence counts.

If you give this method a try, send me a comment about your experience. I’d love to hear your reaction.

April 5, 2018

Healing Broken Hearts

Our hearts are amazing organs of light and matter. On one level they pump blood to keep us alive. On another, they are the seat of empathy, of love for self and others. On a third, they bridge the gap between thoughts and emotions. The heart mediates conflicts and allows us to find the middle ground.

When a heart is open and free, it reconciles disparate energies from our bodies and spirits. An open heart feels soft and powerful. It is willing to trust and can make appropriate boundaries.

When judgment, fear, trauma, or over-reliance on rationality interferes with the free flow of energy in the heart, it starts to close. It can’t fulfill its function and loses flexibility. A heart of stone is not just a metaphor. A closed heart is judgmental, unforgiving, jealous, and often gives itself up for crumbs.

Most people living in our fast-paced, confusing world experience some level of heartbreak. Some symptoms are:

Depression
Anxiety
Compulsive behavior
Fixated on the future or past
Eating disorders
Abuse of drugs/alcohol
Physical symptoms of stress like worry, problems sleeping, unable to focus, hopelessness, low energy, headaches, frequent colds, muscle tension.

We know we’re supposed to eat right, exercise, control our emotions and not get caught up in the daily drama, but it’s hard. One reason is that our minds and emotions are not communicating with each other. The body is not getting the mental message that this difficult situation will pass, and the mind is not hearing the body say it’s scared and needs reassurance. Without healing, the broken heart cannot bridge the gap between what we think and how we feel.

In ancient Greece, the goddess Themis served as a bridge between the older Titans, who were all sound and fury, and the more rational Olympians. The child of Ouranos and Gaia, she represented the heart between spirit and earth, and her ancient function is being remembered today as a symbol of inner healing.

Her image is used as a symbol for justice and appears on the buildings of many courts. She carries the scale of justice and a sword, which reminds us that when justice is not served, there is a price to pay.

To reconcile opposites is to gain wisdom and consciousness. On a conscious level, this means we search for what connects the opposites. Subjectively, we allow ourselves to perceive, without judgment, the feelings and emotions that arise in response to our thoughts and actions.

Instead of listening to the culture or the common wisdom of family, clan, and country, Themis energy points to another way. We can make our own decisions based on discrimination informed by our feelings. Instead of bouncing from mind to emotion, from reason to gut, we can marry these aspects in the heart. We can learn to listen to Psyche, the spirit soul, and to Thymos, the passionate life of the body.

In the west, we have lost the idea of the body having intelligence and the ability to communicate, but new research in neurophysiology presents us with information that echoes the wisdom of Themis.

The Heart Math Institute offers research on how the heart mediates between our minds and emotions and how to reduce stress, gain balance and feel more at one with ourselves.

A great way to start on this journey is to practice a simple technique you can download at Heartmath.org. The Quick Coherence technique for adults is free at this link:

https://www.heartmath.org/resources/heartmath-tools/quick-coherence-technique-for-adults/

In future posts, I’ll be talking about how to make friends with the mind of the body and the practical things you can do to find heart balance. I teach a simple method of using journaling to reach heart integration in my Writing for Healing course which starts on April 18.

August 1, 2016

Clear the Decks! Change is Coming!

setting-intentions Does your inner critic stop you from accomplishing your goals? Maybe with sabotage?

There’s no time. I’m too old to start. Too busy to make time. Too involved with my job to exercise, eat better, start a journal, follow my heart.

The voice of negativity can be a harsh critic. Or, it can be the voice of guilt.

Why waste time on your development when your friends and family need you to care for them?

It might be mildly reproving.

You want to stay safe, don’t you? Have enough money for your retirement? Avoid potential disaster?

The voice of the critic is the voice of resistance.

Resistance does not always have bad intent. Mostly, it wants to keep us safe. Which means, taking no risks, not trying for anything better.

As long as we go along with the program, it bubbles along below the surface like an underground stream.

The minute we have an idea to change our life for the better, it rears up and spouts its negativity into our ears. Suddenly we get busy with worthwhile projects. People need things. The car breaks down. The refrigerator starts making an awful grinding sound.

We have to take care of these things, right? Wouldn’t a responsible person do exactly that?

If you are not doing what you want to do.

If you make decisions to change your life, but don’t follow through.

If you want to be more creative, but bog down due to time constraints, overwhelm, or conflicting demands, it’s time to look at your relationship with your own intention.

It’s time to clear the decks.

Intention is a habit. All habits are formed through repetition. What we hear all the time becomes familiar. What we get validation for, we repeat.

Maybe it’s time to allow our creative, life affirming part to lead the way and validate us for what will move us forward in the larger sense.

The first step is to clearly state our intention.

Take a few minutes and think about what, specifically, you want to do. Then write the statement in the present tense, first person.

I write in my journal for fifteen minutes every day before I go to work.

I walk four times a week for thirty minutes.

I no longer eat sugar.

I finish a chapter of my novel every month.

I take a painting class every Saturday afternoon.

If you have a robust inner critic, you might hear the voice complaining, protesting or arguing with you. You can ignore it. Or, you can simply tell it that you are developing a new habit and would appreciate its support. Whether it acquiesces or not, you go on.

It takes thirty days to develop a habit, so give yourself at least that amount of time.

It can help to track the days when you complete your goal. Post the list in a place where you see it every day.

Is Intention a Force I Can Call Upon?

Many people believe intention as a force in the universe. Lynne McTaggert calls it The Field: The Quest for the Secret Force of the Universe, the energetic, invisible connection among all living things. Many spiritual writers refer to it as an aspect of Source, the divine, the creative self, the superconscious mind. I think of it as an aspect of myself that Knows.

From this perspective, intention can be called upon. Once we understand that we are more than our ego-mind, more than the physical, more than the inner voice of the critic, we can take active steps to connect to the force of intention. It will help us stay on track when the inner voice advises us that we’re too busy, too tired and too overwhelmed to do what we decided to do.

Writer McTaggart’s studies of the field resulted from interviews with scientists who relayed experimental results that could not be explained by “normal” means. She went on to develop The Intention Experiment: Using Your Thoughts to Change Your Life and the World that enlists people via the Internet to change the world through their thoughts.

Scientist Emoto discovered that intention clearly stated, thought or written, changes the molecular structure of water. The Hidden Messages in Water

Physician Larry Dossey writes about how prayer can assist in the healing of physical illnesses. Healing Words: The Power of Prayer and the Practice of Medicine

Intention is powerful. It is available. You too can use it to change your life.

What about you? Do you have an example of when you used your intention to make a positive change?

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now!

Goethe

May 22, 2016

How to Forgive Your Inner Critic and Move on With Your Life

flower 2 We all have an inner critic. It’s a function of the conscious mind. Some have huge, robust, well-developed critics that comment and decide on every aspect of our lives. Others, more fortunate, have milder critics who appear only once in a while.

Every spiritual and psychological system of personal growth has ways to deal with the aspect of mind that criticizes, blames and judges to keep us where we are. The critic believes it is acting in our best interest.The critic wants to keep us safe.

Deciding to use forgiveness to work with the inner critic is a radical method that I have found works. This is not seeing the critic as an enemy in a war. While many are comfortable and energized by doing battle with what needs to be changed, I have never liked the idea of war. More useful is the idea of inquiry. The most severe critic is still part of us. It may sound like Mom or Dad of our second-grade teacher, but it lives inside our heads.

The ancient Hawaiian prayer of forgiveness, the Ho’oponopono, is a compassionate tool for personal work. It seems almost too simple to be effective, yet that is its beauty. Ulrich E. Dupree, author and teacher, wrote a little book about the Hawaiian ritual of forgiveness and how it can affect your life, your family relationships, friendships, even the environment.

The simple prayer is:

I am sorry
Please forgive me
I love you
Thank you

That’s it. A short prayer with roots into antiquity, it is part of the Hawaiian Huna tradition which teaches there is one power in the universe, the power of love. Ho’oponopono is compassion in action.

Its practice is a way of returning to unity, releasing judgment and condemnation toward the self and others, and finding harmony. Since it requires acting from the heart, it could be seen as a way of returning to the divine plan, which has compassion for all that exists.

This may be the opposite of what you learned. From infancy, we learn dichotomies, right and wrong, good and bad. All our institutions follow the hierarchical model. We move up or down, in school and then in work.

What stops us from experiencing the harmony and freedom from pain is our thinking minds. We come to adulthood attached to cares, fears, comparisons, standards, and beliefs about what we need to be happy.

The Ho’oponopono method of working with unease or distress takes a different approach. Instead of figuring out what we need to do, learn or achieve, these are the steps:

We ask to reach within ourselves a place of recognition, courage, power, intelligence and peace.

From that place, which can be described as sitting in the heart, we describe the problem and then search for our share in it. That could involve, for example, a judgment we’ve made, or an action, or a memory.

We forgive unconditionally and speak the four sentences: I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.

We give thanks, express trust and let go.

This method of personal change implies acceptance that we are co-creators of everything in our lives. On some level of awareness, we have accepted all we encounter. That does not mean we need to keep accepting it. Once we become aware enough to notice an issue, it is usually ready for healing.

I have found this method works, not only to forgive myself and others for making judgments, but to forgive my judgments of aspects of myself.

I find self-marketing challenging. I resist it. My inner critic tells me I’d be better off spending more time creating my fiction, not developing a platform to sell it.

That does not take into account the realities of today’s publishing world. Therefore, I can forgive the part of myself that does not want to spend time on marketing. As I do that, I can delve deeper into the issue and discover what I’m really afraid of.

This simple technique works wonders with resistance, with any form the inner critic takes.

I’m sorry. Forgive me. I love you. Thank you.

Everything has a right to exist. Even resistance.

The more we battle with what we don’t like, the stronger it gets. Forgiveness softens the hard, unyielding parts of ourselves that reach from the past to fasten their tentacles into our minds and keep us from living fully.

Even if you’re not convinced, try the Ho’oponopono prayer. It has worked wonders for many people.

To learn more about this method of forgiveness, read Ho’oponopono: The Hawaiian Forgiveness Ritual as the Key to Your Life’s Fulfillment

May 11, 2016

Turn Your Inner Critic Into an Ally

inner citic 2 Do you have an inner critic? Do you recognize its voice?

You know the one I mean. It whispers, “How could you be a writer? Start a business? Stay on a diet? Stick to an exercise program?”

It murmurs in the background, always on alert, ready to stop you from moving forward.

Or, maybe you don’t even hear it. Maybe you stall out in the middle of a new venture. Lose interest. Get too busy. Decide it wasn’t important.

Resistance is a force. It’s human and it’s normal. Everyone resists change. Some a little, some a lot. Resistance seems to be a function of how our brains work, so it’s nothing to judge yourself for. The point is to recognize it, and learn how to work with it.

The inner critic is a form of resistance that is especially virulent because it mimics our inner voice. We listen to the critic and believe we are hearing ourselves. In fact, we’re hearing an internalized judgment from parents, teachers, friends, the community or the larger culture.

You can think of the inner critic as a recalcitrant child, a part of us that has not evolved. It’s stuck in the past. Something hurt it, and now it wants to protect you from experiencing more pain.

Better safe than sorry. Why rock the boat? What if I try and fail?

The problem with this approach is that we stagnate. Potential goes untapped, hopes fade, creativity withers and enthusiasm is lost. All because we weren’t willing to engage the inner critic.

Something as simple as asking yourself if its messages are true TODAY can work wonders. If you engage it, you can find out what it wants. You can help it evolve and come into the present.

Instead of seeing the inner critic as a force to be ignored, defeated, boxed in, argued with, silenced or stomped on, a gentler approach could transform it into an inner ally.

inner ally 2

An inner ally supports, encourages, focuses on the positive, sets goals, makes plans, knows that growth is process, is a learner, and remembers that others are more focused on themselves than on judging us.

There are many ways to change your relationship to the inner critic. I have found this simple process to work for me.

1. Sit quietly. If you meditate, pray, or quiet your mind in nature that’s the perfect time for this exercise. If you journal, you can engage your critic with free writing.

2. In your mind or aloud, say “hello.” Allow an image, a sensation or words to appear. Say “hello” again.

3. In your mind or your journal, ask your critic if she is willing to talk to you. (this may be a little unfair, since she’s doing it all the time, but it’s polite, and often changes the dialogue).

4. Ask her why she is giving you negative messages.

5. Listen. Do not argue. Simply listen.

6. Conclude by writing and/or drawing what you asked and learned from your critic.

You can repeat this exercise with any question. You can offer the critic alternative ways of looking at the issue at hand. When you hear a negative message, you can turn it around.

For example, if your critic say, “It’s too cold to go for a walk today. Just stay inside.”

You could say, “Yes, it is cold. But I’ll wear my heavy coat and I’ll feel better if I complete my goal of exercising four times this week.”

With practice, you can turn around any negative programming that’s stuck in your brain. As you realize that your beliefs can be changed, your inner critic will gradually transform into an ally.

7. The last step of this exercise is the most powerful. Conclude each session by forgiving the critic and yourself.

My next post will be about a simple, yet profound method of forgiveness that has helped me shift my critic into an ally.

What about you? Does an inner critic hold you back?

April 4, 2016

Writers Who Don’t Write

I struggle with resistance.

Not all its forms bother me. If the house is cleaned tomorrow or next week instead of today, no big deal. However, when it comes to my writing, yeah, it’s a big deal. If I make excuses for why I’m too tired, too busy or too distracted to do my writing, I’ve fallen prey to the insidious voice in my head. It whispers:

“You can’t.”
“That’s not good enough.”
“You’ll never publish that.”
“You don’t write as well as she”
“You have a job. That doesn’t leave time to write.”
“Business before pleasure.”
“How can you take time for yourself when others need you?”
“It’s too late to start.”
“You have nothing important to say.”
“When things settle down, you can write.”

At least now I know that the excuses, the rationalizations, the self-doubt, the procrastination and the other thoughts that stopped me repeatedly are not out in the world, but live inside my brain.

As it turns out, everybody has resistance. Some more than others, but no one escapes. It seems to be a condition of being human, a function of how our minds are wired. Maybe it’s culture, upbringing, pollution. I don’t know why the ego mind throws up roadblocks to any change we intend to improve our lives, but every school of psychology and all spiritual traditions have noticed it. Many named it. You probably know some of them.

Judge
Death wish
Parasite
Demon lover
Victim
Critic
Gremlin
Negative anima/animus
Predator

Resistance is fueled by self-doubt, guilt and fear. Whenever you hear yourself saying, “I should” prick up your inner ears. Resistance may be lurking.

Even if you’re not struggling with a call to write a novel, paint a picture or start a new business, you’re not immune. Have you ever tried to change a habit? Start an exercise program? Incorporate meditation into your life? When you try to change your life for the better, resistance whispers its objections to why you’re better off the way you are. The status quo is safe. It’s here. The territory is familiar. Change means navigating your boat through dangerous shoals. Nobody wants to risk drowning. Or do they?

If you listen to the voice of resistance, before long you lose momentum, get dispirited, realize you’re too busy to make that change, and it wouldn’t be worthwhile anyway. Easier to stay in safe waters.

We defend our own creations, no matter how poorly they serve us. Even people with clearly dysfunctional life styles fight to keep the status quo. Have you ever known an addict, an alcoholic, a compulsive gambler, housecleaner or shopper? A whole institution of self–help programs exist to help people who realize their addictions are killing them. The first step in these programs is always the same. Admit that ego is not the answer, that ego cannot heal itself. We need to call on something bigger to overcome our resistance to change.

A wonderful little book about how one writer identified and deals with his resistance is the The War of Art by novelist and nonfiction writer, Steven Pressfield. I found this book when perusing Amazon best sellers in the category Creativity. I tried the book and am now a huge fan, both of his nonfiction and fiction. The War of Art is inspiring and profound. It is a short book that makes its points in simple language.

Pressfield’s answer to resistance is to act like a pro. If you have a job, you show up every day. Why is creative work any different? Get clear about you want, and buckle down. Take your calling seriously. Make the time, even when it isn’t convenient. Learn the craft. Show up. Don’t take rejection personally. Make a separation between your personal life and what you’re doing. Think of your creative work or exercise program or diet as important. A priority. We do what we think is important. We do what we value.

The other thing you may notice is that we do what we’re accustomed to doing, without questioning ourselves. Have you ever asked yourself, why do I do this activity rather than my writing/art/craft work? Are there any tasks I could let go of? Delegate to someone else? Do I use my time doing what I truly want to do? If not, why not?

Pressfield makes an important point that every professional creative has learned. When you commit to a task, make the time for it and stick to it, the Muse smiles, the heavens move and events re-align themselves in ways you could not dream of before you started.

One day I realized I could change my thoughts. Then I realized I could decide to sit at my desk and write even with the chorus shouting their objections. I’ll still be scared, but resistance won’t win.

For me, it took a serious illness to get my attention. It would have been better to figure this out beforehand, but I’m grateful that I was miserable enough not acting to start taking action. Taking the risk to do what I’ve always wanted to do probably saved my life. I don’t know. You can’t ever be sure, but I’ve learned more about my creative process, having compassion for myself and for everyone who struggles, and who I am in relation to my Self and to Source than I dreamed I would before I committed.

What about you? If you have a story about your own resistance, I would love to hear from you. All voices are valuable in the struggle against the resistance. The more we speak out and tell our stories, the stronger we are, and the more we empower others to start to change their lives.

Getting out of own way is a worthy fight.

To check out Pressfield’s book, you can go to Amazon.
The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles