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Changing our words will change our story. Changing our stories can change our lives.<\/p>\nChanging our words will change our story. Changing our stories can change our lives.<\/p>\n
Our parents tell us stories about our family, heritage, and culture. Our culture tells us stories about what people like us can expect.<\/p>\n
The words we use are not coincidental or arbitrary. We are taught to name, identify, and classify. Words are used to classify us. Eventually, we get the picture. We don\u2019t need anyone to tell us we need to shape up. We know.<\/p>\n
Have you ever looked at the words you use to describe yourself? Do you see yourself as smart, attractive, competent, scared, passive, helpful? Are you loyal? Independent? A team player?<\/em><\/p>\n Which words are more positive to you? More negative?<\/p>\n Words create our sense of who we are. A good girl. A strong boy. Such a smart student. So good with her hands.<\/p>\n Even something as seemingly objective as our physical appearance is shaped by beliefs.<\/p>\n You have big hips. He\u2019s small for his age. Red haired people have hot tempers. You\u2019re too fat\/thin\/freckled, pale. Your hair is too curly. Rich people have straight hair.<\/em><\/p>\n We describe ourselves, first, as others have described us. Judged as children, we take the words to heart. The judge takes up residence inside our minds, and from there rules us. Later in life, we wonder why we never feel good enough, smart enough, and capable of making our dreams real.<\/p>\n How we talk about ourselves has a lot to do with what we\u2019re willing to try. I had a student who was bright, attractive, and a single parent receiving public assistance. The class was on how to find a job. Marie was a high school graduate and well qualified to work as a hotel receptionist, but when I told her about a position in a downtown hotel, she said, \u201cOh, no. I couldn\u2019t apply for that.\u201d<\/p>\n I asked why, and she said, \u201cPeople like me don\u2019t go there.\u201d<\/p>\n The hotel was upscale in an urban area. She was qualified. The job did not pay well enough to attract applicants with college degrees. What stopped her was the story running in her head. She was poor, Hispanic, \u201csecond class.\u201d If she had applied, she would have been seriously considered, but I couldn\u2019t convince her to make the appointment. She felt more comfortable in the fast food job she took.<\/p>\n Now when I teach journaling, creativity, and writing for healing, I ask students to examine their beliefs, the tapes running in their heads that are stopping them from reaching out. It comes down to words. Change the words, change your life.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n If you\u2019d like to try it, look at your life as a timeline<\/p>\n 1.Draw a straight line across a blank piece of paper.<\/p>\n
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